Guilty as charged!

Yes, I am guilty of all the things mentioned in the illustration above.

Before having kids, I imagined that I will be a cool mother who could keep her anger and frustrations under control and could get along really well all the time with my kids. I imagined that my kids will listen to everything I say and if there is any disagreement, we would simply sit down and talk about it. And that they would agree to whatever I tell them because I am their mother.

Unfortunately, things did not work out the way I imagined it to be. Parenting is definitely one of the toughest thing to do in this whole wide world.

So yes, I am indeed guilty of so many things that I thought I would never do.

I became a Drama Mama. I tried to keep myself under control but the dramatic side of me does come out once it a while. I remember there was this time when Ethan was just 3 years old and we were buying some food at a KFC restaurant which was adjacent to a petrol station. After buying a Chicky Meal, Ethan wanted to go inside the convenience store of the petrol station to buy more stuff. I said no. He started whining. I said no a little louder. He cried a little louder. I shouted another no. He screamed even louder. I pulled his arm to lead him to the car. He started dragging his feet and continued screaming. I was so angry that I started yelling at him right in the middle of the petrol station with everyone looking at me. With my rage full on, I did not care that I was causing a drama in public. It was definitely not a proud moment for me. It was one of those moments which I look back with much regret. It was such a simple situation which could have been solved peacefully if I had taken a deep breath and counted to 10.

I started offering bribes too. I bribed Ethan and Isabel with money in order for them to behave themselves. I bribed them with treats to do what I asked them to do. It seems so much easier to just offer them a simple bribe as it works better than for me to keep on nagging. It’s wrong. Yes, I know. It will stop. Very soon. I hope….

And eating in front of the TV? I am finding it hard to ask Ethan and Isabel not to do it when both my Ambert and I do it. In fact, I had started eating in front of the TV for as long as I can remember, which was way back during my early childhood. My dad didn’t like it (he said it made us looked like refugees!) but my mom allowed it. So this habit has continued on till this day. Even before we had kids, Ambert and I had always eaten in front of the TV. The dining table was hardly used. In fact, after 8 years now, the cushions on the dining chairs are still wrapped in the plastic that they came with. The coffee table in front of the TV is our dining table. And now I guess Ethan and Isabel have learned this habit too.

Father and son busy with their gadgets

As for playing with gadgets while dining in restaurants, I do agree that we should keep it away. But Ambert keeps giving it to Ethan as it keeps him seated throughout the meal. Once he stops playing with the iPad, he also stops eating and starts walking around, which drives Ambert crazy. And how is Ambert going to stop Ethan from playing with the iPad when he does it himself? Well, this is something that I prefer to let Ambert handle himself. Let’s not get myself stressed out over this.

Ethan & Isabel proudly holding up

their big pack of junk food

What about junk food? Who doesn’t like junk food? Even I like junk food. I just control myself from eating too much junk food for fear of gaining more weight and water retention. I try not to buy any groceries with my kids around. If they go grocery shopping with me, they will definitely end up carrying a pack of junk food each when they walk out of the supermarket. Even going to shops like 7-Eleven, Speedmart 99 or KK to grab an item or two is not advisable.

Oh, well, parenting really wasn’t how I imagined it to be. There are more things that I thought I wouldn’t do but ended up doing. But in the end, I love my kids with all my heart. I can’t imagine life without them. They bring me so many challenges and yet they are still the joy of my life. I can only hope and try my best to bring them up the best way I could.

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